Where did the time go?

Day 15

Oops been a few days since I posted. Where has the time gone?

Well I am still on track, eating right and working out hard. I made it through another weekend. And I made it through a weight gain. Yep I was up a pound this week. Makes absolutely no sense to me. I worked out and ate right but I’m not going to harp on it. It is what it is and my body is doing what it is doing. I keep telling myself that if I continue down the path I am currently on my body can only change for the better. It might take a while but it will eventually change. I know in my heart of hearts I can’t get “fatter” doing what I am doing. I can only get leaner and stronger.

I must admit mood swings are out of control. I know that the chemicals in my body are changing and boy is it being reflected in my attitude. Patience level for me is at an all-time low and I sure do like to argue about nothing of importance. The dear hubby and I fought most of the weekend and over stuff that didn’t even matter. Saturday night I finally broke down and opened up and I think it has helped. Also with the help of my coach and her suggestions, eating right on schedule helps as well.

I’m pretty exhausted today. I worked legs last night at the gym and it was a pretty intense workout.  I sweated like I had never sweat before.

So on to day 16. I’m half way in my first month. And I cannot wait until the end of month one to see some type of physical transformation.

A major milestone

Day 11

Ok maybe it won’t seem like a major milestone to most but to me it was pretty huge. In the past I would refer to these as Non Scale Victories (NSV) and it still sort of is one but I’m trying to lose focus of the sale. Yes I will still weight myself and report those numbers and be happy or sad about what it says, but I am trying to put less emphasis on it. I’m trying now to go more for the “feeling”. How do I “feel” mentally, how do I “feel” physically, how do my clothes “feel”? That who attitude.

Anyway back to what I originally meant to talk about. Yesterday and my accomplishments! Yesterday afternoon we had a bit of bad news thrown our way. The dear hubby was laid off from work. We’ve gone through a lot in the last 5 years. We both lost our jobs 4 years ago on the same day. Our world was turned upside down. I’m not going to harp on it or talk about it in detail because it is the past and who wants to hear about it anyway? But we were starting to get back on our feet and then this happened…yet again. Anyway, yesterday after receiving the news I did think about all the terrible things I wanted to do to myself. Go out, get drunk, eat and just escape from reality. But instead what did I do? I went along with my workout as planned. I stuck to eating right and not giving in to the evils. And it felt great waking up this morning knowing that I did something good and positive for me even though I didn’t want to.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still pretty upset and bitter about our situation but I am trying very hard to look on the positive side of it all. Having faith that things will be ok and still making time for myself and making sure I take care of myself. If I went back now and said screw it to this new lifestyle what would it accomplish? Nothing. It might make me escape from reality for that moment but reality is only going to hit harder later on after I’ve wised up from my actions. But I will head this thing straight on and not stray from myself and my health. I will continue to do this.

So today I am proud of myself and my accomplishments.

Recap

Day 10

Ugh, my internet is down at home so I can’t blog in the evenings. Really is bumming me out because I found it as kind of a therapy. Oh well on to my blog…

Week one – One word to sum it up – AWESOME! Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Absolutely!

Say what?? A week of eating right and exercising and what do you get? A 5 pound weight loss and a decrease in body fat of .6%. But you know what? That’s not the most exciting part. For the first time in my life the numbers on the scale is not what’s most important to me. It’s the overall difference that I feel. My energy level has increased two fold. I am driven, focused and positive for the first time in a very long, long time. Exercising and eating right really does do a body good.

And having great trainers makes all the difference in the world. This past week I learned the importance of using food as fuel, the need for “good” fats and the difference between cardio and fat burning. The workouts have been intense and the people have been amazing. The encouragement, support and positivity of this group is uplifting. After a long day at work I actually look forward to going to the gym and getting my “swell on” (as my kids say). And now on to week 2!

My trainer asked that I write something up and post it to her Facebook page.  She was proud of my results and wanted to use me as an “advertisement” for her business. I was more than happy to do so. However, I researched Facebook to see how not to get that post to show up on my wall or on the new feeds of my friends. I was embarrassed and didn’t want my friends and family to know that I was doing something to better myself. How sad is that? I should be proud of what I’m doing instead I’m ashamed and want to keep it a secret. I am pretty certain that once I start to see a significant difference I may start to feel more comfortable. And who knows? Chances are when I hit my goal you probably won’t get to me shut up and I’ll share my story with everyone and anyone. Until then I will sit quiet and do my thing.

Official stats – Weight 147 – body fat 28.2% Making progress

Oh major break through today that I will talk about tomorrow. Turned to my workout in a time of major stress....

Highs & Lows. Ups & Downs

Day 9 – Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Boy do I have a lot of mixed emotions today. One moment I am feeling good riding high and the next I’m agitated. I must admit since starting this lifestyle change my tolerance level at times is extremely low. I am hoping that changes soon. I get annoyed easily and I really have zero patience at all. The dear hubby has been understanding but I don’t know how long he will tolerate it. I am going to try and make a conscience effort to watch my tone and take more breaths. I’m also hoping maybe it is another sign of detox and I am getting rid of all the stuff in my system but I would think that after 9 days detox wouldn’t be an issue.

That’s where I am a little frustrated with my trainer. I was hoping that there would be me communication. Instead of just “training” me we could talk about the feelings both emotional and physical. But maybe that’s what a therapist is for. I just wish that I could find out if the things that I am experiencing is normal and to be expected. Because in all honesty I don’t know if what I am going through is normal.

I’ve been told that I can email questions with answers being provided on Fridays. Makes it seem so impersonal, but I think I will give it a try. I need to also do more research to find out what a trainers job description covers and what I should expect for the monthly fee I am being charged. I think I am paying a high amount of money so I expect a lot but maybe the reality of it is, I’m not paying all that much. I don’t know but it’s not worth me getting stressed over, so time to move on.

I came to a realization, or maybe a better word would be observation, today. Today I realized that come 2:00 pm I’m not yawning, exhausted and constantly watching the clock waiting for it to be time to go home. Ok, that last part if a lie, I’m still watching the clock to have my shift end but it’s so I can get to the gym and get my workout in. But I remember so many days thinking am I going to make it through the day without falling asleep? Well that is not the case anymore. For today anyway but I don’t remember feeling that way yesterday either. There really is something to be said for Eating Clean. It works and boy do I feel different.

Well there’s a post for you that sums it up. In the matter of minutes I had an up and a down. Geez…..

On, to being an “After”

Still Workin' It

Day 6, 7 & 8  - Saturday, Sunday & Monday 

Well I didn’t make it out to blog land this weekend but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t successful in my eating and working out. It’s just the opposite. I was so busy with preparing for the week and when I did get a chance to sit down the last thing I wanted to do was even sit down to blog. 

I’m very proud of my accomplishments this weekend. Weekends have always been a struggle for me because I have always looked at them as my time to reward myself for going to work all week and doing the “responsible” stuff Monday through Friday. But this weekend was different. I didn’t reward myself with food and alcohol. Instead dear hubby and I choose to focus on our goals and focus on how we felt just after 4 days of eating right.

Today the trainers were talking about how food doesn’t taste the same when you go back to eating poorly. I find that hard to believe but I am hoping that is somewhat the case. I would love to accept the food that we are eating as a way of life. And I think that I can should I start to see some results.

 Well this is a short and sweet post as I had an extremely difficult workout and I am beyond exhausted. But I’m still going strong and feeling great.  

Oh my trainer wasn’t there today so I didn’t get to weigh in and check my body fat. But I did pick up a scale today that does body fat testing and I may start recording that weekly as I not real confident that my trainer will be there each Monday.

Well here is to today, working hard tomorrow and becoming a Before and After.

It WILL happen

Day #5 – July 20, 2012 

It’s all about visualizing and seeing the prize. And I see my prize. I will be a “Before and After” story. I WILL be the photo that my trainer wants to use to convince others to get healthy. I WILL become a part of the advertisement for her company. My achievements will inspire others to make that change. And I look forward to that day. My “dream” has been put out in the universe and will come true. It will take dedication and hard work on my part and it WILL happen! 

Today’s rules same as all other days. They seem to be natural now and not even a 2^nd thought. I’ve been doing rather well on cravings. Well with the exception of driving my In-N-Out last night and smelling the grilled onions and burgers. But hey I’m allowed lean ground beef and onion so I’m thinking tomorrow is burgers in lettuce cups. Will it be like eating In-N-Out? Ya, I’m going to say no. But I have a feeling it’s still going to taste pretty darn good and the best part is after eating it, absolutely NO GUILT. 

Today is a rest day. Meaning no workout and it’s Friday and for me has always been date night with dear husband. We would usually meet at happy hour and enjoy a few drinks and then enjoy a nice dinner. Today is Friday and still date night but the rules have changed. No happy hour, no dinner out. And I am ok with it.  

Tonight we still spent the evening together. Ran a few errands,  got pedicures and then headed back home to watch a move.  Different than we are both used to but it was still nice. Quality time together and that’s what date night is supposed to be all about. Not to mention we were both exhausted from the week and our new workout schedule so the evening at home was a welcomed one.

It’s always difficult staying focused on the weekend. But I am determined to do it.

It hurts to even type……

Day #4 – July 19, 2012 

Oh my goodness, I knew I was out of shape but I didn’t realize I was this bad. Today I woke up sore, no sore does not even describe it properly, and I don’t know what to call it. I know that I am not injured and it is from the intense workouts but boy can I tell you I am looking forward to my day off from the gym tomorrow. I even “dressed” down for work today because the thought of wearing high heels made my body ache even more.

Last night we ended our work out doing crab crawls. If you don’t know what that is let me see if I can explain it properly. Basically you balance on your hands and feet with your front facing the ceiling and your hips thrust upwards. In my head it looks a lot like in the movie The Exorcist when Linda Blair walks down the stairs on her hand and feet backwards. It’s not that intense and your back is not arched that high but in my head that’s what I’m doing. And I have to say the way I feel today is probably how she felt after her exorcism. 

I must admit today was an emotional struggle with the “new lifestyle”. I made a mistake and got on the scale today. I was on a weight loss program at work and it was working but I needed something more. I wanted to get strong. Anyway, I had not been on the scale for 3 weeks prior to starting this program and in that time frame I gained 5 pounds. It’s a totally acceptable number considering how I was eating the last 3 weeks but after 4 days of being on the program I was hoping to see a little something showing my efforts were worth it. I am getting rather frustrated reading about others losing 5 pounds in 3 days because they changed their eating habits. WTH? I changed mine and I still show a gain??? Oh well, time to put on my big girl pants suck it up and keep moving forward. I will succeed. I will do it. And I will be a Before and After. 

On to day #5.

Alcohol Free & Feeling Good

Day 3 – Wednesday July 18, 2012

Today marked day 3 – Got up this morning feeling pretty darn good. I am extremely sore and tired but no headache and the scratchy throat. And when I say tired I hit the snooze button way too many times only to turn the alarm off completely by mistake. Whoops I was 30 minutes late to work today.

Here is my question? I feel so good that I have accomplished 3 days. And 3 days is nothing in the scheme of things. Why does it feel like I have been doing this for 3 months already?  And of course when I look in the mirror I think why I am not any thinner? Hello?!?! It’s only been 3 days. I cannot wait to see a difference in my clothes, the scale and my attitude.

 Same rules apply for today

·         No Alcohol

·         No fried foods

·         No sugar

·         No Desserts

·         5 required meals

·         Fat Burn & Weight Training

·         Drink 1 ½ gallons of water 

I must admit the rules are getting easier. I may not have to post them daily as a reminder. What I mean by easier is they are not even a thought. It just is the norm. I pray that it just get easier and easier from here on out. 

Today is also a HUGE day for me in hitting another milestone. Today makes 7 days alcohol free. No I didn’t have a problem but I did enjoy my wine. And I know for a fact that it hindered my weight loss. Friday night’s is always date night with the Dear Hubby and started out at happy hour and then unfortunately happy hour because Happy HourS. Then of course the poor decision making came naturally and easy. DH and I are still going to have date nights but the activity is definitely going to change.  

I worked out and ate as planned and I am proud of myself for sticking with it. I must admit however that I am slightly frustrated today. I want results and I want them now. And in all honesty I measured my stomach and it is one inch bigger. What is up with that?? Part of me feels like maybe I am eating too much food. But I am going to trust my trainers and hang tough and continue and remind myself I didn’t get overweight overnight I’m not going to get thin and strong overnight.

Detox Headache

Day #2 – Tuesday, July 17, 2012 

Today I woke up with the same mindset, ready to take on the day and rock this new lifestyle. However, as positive as I am about it, I must admit I woke up pretty exhausted and sore from last night’s workout add to that a headache and a scratchy throat.  I’m thinking it may be a “detox” headache and that I can accept knowing that it will pass and it is because I am doing something good for myself.

 Rules for today

·         No Alcohol

·         No fried foods

·         No sugar

·         No Desserts

·         5 required meals

·         Fat Burn & Weight Training

·         Drink 1 ½ gallons of water 

The exact same goals as yesterday. I posted them here again so I can see them and remind myself of them.

I didn’t talk about Supplements yesterday but that is a huge part of this lifestyle too. And I must admit I don’t do well when it comes to supplements. I am however taking all that is required of me. I need to however make a change. Yesterday I started a multi-vitamin powder. I put it in my shake yesterday and it really changed the flavor and texture of the shake. NOT a fan. So today I decided I would just mix the powder with a little water and try and down it like a shot. Oh that was a total mistake. Just about threw up twice. I don’t think that I can make that a daily ritual, no matter how much I want to better myself. There has to be a better way. I’m looking for alternatives and suggestions. 

I’m not going to talk in detail about the meals today. I did eat my 5 meals and by the time meal 4^th meal came around I just wasn’t in to it at all. I wasn’t hungry but I did try to look at it as fuel and not just food. 

Workout was intense today. I got my fat burning workout in (aka cardio but at a lower heart rate) 45 minutes on the elliptical and to waste time before my class I rode the bike for 15 minutes while playing Words with Friends. Weight training worked out the back and chest.  Was kind of embarrassed, we had to do push-ups and when I asked what if you can’t do them? The training asked if I was injured. I had to explain, no I was just weak. My goal at the end of this 12 week transformation, besides looking good, is to be able to do a real push up. 

After my workout, my headache was gone so I’ll have to remember that for next time. Can’t use the excuse, “Sorry I’ve got a headache.”

Well here is to day 2 being done and gone and on to day 3.

Time to start living

Day #1

Monday, July 16^th, 2012. This is my documented journey of my weight loss journey and clean living life style.

Well today was day one of my new life style. This morning I woke up feeling different. Healthier and more fit and I hadn’t done anything different. But my mind set was fresh, open, willing and ready to take on the day. I already knew what lied ahead. I knew the rules and the dos and don’ts and I was going to achieve what I set out to do.

Rules for today

·         No Alcohol

·         No fried foods

·         No sugar

·         No Desserts

·         5 required meals

·         Fat Burn & Weight Training

·         Drink 1 ½ gallons of water 

5 meals were planned, packed and ready to go.  

Meal #1 Breakfast – Protein Shake - Pretty good with the exception of the muli vitamin powder I put in my drink. I can do without the taste of dirt in the morning. I’ll have to work on accepting it or finding an alternative

Meal# 2  Snack – Dairy Snack  - Not bad, tart and would have liked it a little sweeter but that’s what I’m trying to get away from sweets.

Meal# 3 Lunch – Lean protein, veggies and complex carb – A normal meal in to me but in all honesty I really wasn’t all that hungry and would of preferred not to of eaten but I’ve got to feed those muscles.

Meal# 4 – Snack (Basically 2^nd lunch) – Ate because I needed to fuel my body.

Meal # 5 – Dinner – Protein Shake with lots of greens and healthy fat – Again I ate because I had to not necessarily because I was hungry. 

1^st day with the trainer - Good day. We worked legs and we worked them hard. My heart rate was out of the “fat burning zone”. Hopefully with time that will get better.  

Official weigh in was 152 with body fat percentage of 29.8%. Wow that was hard to accept but that was even harder to write here and to see it.  

Overall thoughts…..

                Good day. I did not have any cravings. Energy level was overall high. A few tired points but that was mostly when I was driving and in the heat. Overall mood was upbeat and happy. Didn’t seem to have any “mood swings” which I feel have been a little over the top the last month or so. 

I leave you with this – Why choose failure when success is an option? – Jillian Michaels